


Heartbreak

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:39:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A/N the song this is based off of is: "Heartbreak or Death" by the Brobecks. I think it fits the song pretty well. I hope you enjoyed and I'm going to try and write some more fanfics, not sure what about or how long but I will try. Thanks for reading!





	Heartbreak

I shy away a smile into the palm of my hand as I see you walk towards me. Wow your face is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are the most beautiful being ever created. I can’t help it when I see you, my heart races and misses a beat, my hands get sweaty, and I know that I will still studder with every word I say to you. I know I am nothing compared to you, you are everything, my everything… and I am nothing. Everyone in the world knows who you are, but no one knows me. It’s just how we are, and we make it work. Of course we make it work. You loved me.

“Hey there,” you smile at me, “missed me much?”  
You wink.

“You know I missed you,” I say as I get up to give you a hug. When times are tough, I want you to think of you in my arms, me kissing your cheek. I want you to think of me the next time you leave. 

“Man come on, let’s get out of here and catch up,” You say to me. I don’t object, it’s been three weeks since I’ve seen you, three weeks since I’ve hugged you. Three weeks since I have kissed you. Three weeks since our last fuck. Man I missed you so much. 

“Where are we going to go?” I ask with a hint in my voice. Trying to hint we should go somewhere alone. Somewhere very alone.

“I dunno, wherever you think we should go.”  
You wink again.

Butterflies roar in my stomach, I know you’re hinting we should go somewhere very alone right back at me. Unwrapping my arm from your waist, and placing it in your hand I feel your warmth. My hand in yours, and your hand in mine. Pulling on your arm, I lead you the four blocks from the train station back to our little apartment in the sky. Floor 8, apartment number 1. It’s the only one on the floor. We get the whole floor to ourselves, and access to the roof. That’s more than the other 7 floors can say that have. But what can I say? You a wealthy musician, and me your “roommate” working as your manager, of course we are going to have only the best together. Together forever. Maybe we can last beyond all time.

“Ry, what are you doing?” you ask me as I push the 9 on the elevator buttons. It doesn’t look like a christman tree.

“Oh, I just thought we should go somewhere very alone. Somewhere that if someone was looking they wouldn’t ever find us. Somewhere nice, where if things get hot, we won’t have to move outside to cool down, we will already be there,” I say as I wink at you. 

“Wow okay being very mysterious now, are we?”

I laugh as the elevator reaches the roof. Hours ago, I brought a small mattress, some blankets, a few pillows a table, and set up a tent-like cover on our roof in preparation for tonight. On the table I placed a few items incase we get hungry mid fuck, an apple, some bread, cheese, orange juice, milk, lots and lots of fruit. You love things that taste sweet. Maybe that’s why you loved me. B is speechless as he takes in everything I have prepared for tonight.

“Is it a special day? Did I miss something?” You ask me.

“No you didn’t miss anything I just wanted this to be memorable for us,” Oh you better believe this is going to be a memorable evening. Especially for him, he will remember it for the rest of his life, as will I. “I think tonight will change our lives.” 

A smile reaches your cheeks as you give me a look. No wait, it goes past your cheeks. It reaches your ears. You’re thrilled to see what else I have planned for tonight. You know I will treat you tonight. You know you are mine tonight. Mine and no one else’s. I will make sure you know that Oh you better be excited I have some just marvelous news to share with you tonight. As I sit down smoothly onto the bed, I motion you to sit down next to me. I move my hand to rest it on your thigh. It’s warm, but soon enough, it won’t be that warm anymore. Nothing to cover it.

“You and me are meant to be, like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees,” you smile nervously, and nod your head, slowly leaning in to kiss me. “I love you Bren.” My whisper’s the last words we hear before coming together. My hand slowly moves up your thigh, further and further until it reaches your bulge. Wow you feel amazing. You use your lips to roughly part mine, slipping your tongue inside my mouth. You can’t get enough of the taste of me. I can’t get enough of the taste of you. This is one of our best kisses yet. I think it will be the best kiss we ever have. Three weeks is the longest we have been apart since we have been together

My shirt starts to slide up as your hands pull it inch by inch up my back. Slowly. Teasing me. You little fuck. I put my arms up so you can rip the shirt off of me. You just move even slower. Centimeter by centimeter up my back, over my shoulders, and off of my head. A small gust of wind makes me shiver and my nipples erect. You love it when that happens. Your hands move over my bare chest are you look right into my eyes. You look right through my eyes and into my soul. For a second I think you see what I have planned for tonight, but you look down and take in how much you have been arousing me. A devilish smile replaces the goofy one as you move to unbutton my pants.

“Not so fast B. You’re still wearing more than me.”

“Right, sorry man,” he say rolling his eyes. His beautiful deep brown eyes, puppy dog eyes. It was the first thing I fell in love with about Brendon Urie. One of the things I am most in love with about him. I could stare into those eyes for the rest of our lives. They always know where to look. How to look. He has the most intense stares. They make me feel all sorts of things I could never put into words.

He starts to unbutton his pants, and I swear this man can do nothing right when he should be getting everything right. He is a pro at fucking. He must be as nervous as me. He must know this night will be perfect for us “Come on Bren, leave that for me to do. Take your shirt off.”

Brendon raises an eyebrow, but does what he is told and slowly rips off his shirt. I swear he takes longer than he took to take of my shirt. That little fuck. After he takes eternity to take his shirt off, he goes right back at what he was doing, where he was going, and resumes unbuttoning my pants. Tooth by tooth, he unzips my pants. This man. He just loves teasing. He just can’t get enough of it. Sometimes he even goes too far. It drives me crazy. Insane. I arch my hips forward so he can pull down my pants to reveal my boxers. To reveal more than just my boxers. More slow than ever he slides the fabric down my pale skinny legs. Kissing every few inches on his way down. Now would be the perfect time, but I hold myself back. I have to. His turn to shed more clothes. 

He comes back up to meet my face and kisses me again. I take this as a perfect opportunity to push his shoulders back onto the bed being on top of him. Wow. I didn’t realize anyone could be this beautiful lying on their back. I know I don’t. Who knows why Brendon chose me. I’m not that great. But we are in love and we will never leave each other. Not for the rest of our lives. Your eyes sparkle, you love it when I’m on top, but I love it when you’re on top. Tonight though, I will be top. Just for you. Because I still love you and like I said I want this to be a very memorable evening for the both of us, to remember it for the rest of our lives. I know it will be for me. Straddling you, I slowly move down kissing your chest as I go, so smooth so beautiful. It was the second thing I fell in love with about you. First your eyes, then your body. Your looks could kill, but your personality can love. That was the third and final thing I fell in love with about you. Your personality was the best thing about you. So bubbly and happy. Just your presence in a room lightened it. Made everyone smile. Just amazing. By the time I fell in love with your eyes, your body and your personality, I had fallen in love with all of you. 

My skilled hands undo your own pants and slide them down your thighs stroking you softly, watching as your dick quickly rises, anticipating what is soon to not happen. “Oh Ryan,” you groan. Fuck yeah, I still have it in me. I thought I didn’t. Once your pants are completely off, and the two of us are left there in just our boxers, me straddling you on top, you don’t have to be asked to quickly roll over so we can start this. You’re lying on your stomach as I pull down your boxers revealing your bare butt, your pale perfect and naked ass. My boxers come off not much later. The two of us are completely naked together on the roof of our building. If we were found we would be fucked. I stroke myself with one hand, and with the other slowly caress your bare ass. 

Shivering you whisper “Fuck Ryan, just get inside of me already!” you let out a long, low groan. Obviously pleased,I see. Good.

A smile reaches my lips as my hand reaches for the cheese knife. “Not tonight baby.”

You turn your head confused just in time to see me raise the knife and stab you in the back. I stab you in the back, just like you did to me. It’s only right. It’s payback. Haha a stab in the back… payback. You deserved it you little fuck. First I destroy your personality. You’re happy vibes are instantly ripped apart, you realized I’ve found out. Of course I did you little fuck. I’m not dumb. You’re crying. After this, if you survive, which I know you won’t, your personality will never be the same. Always fearful. Always paranoid. You little fuck. 

I laugh, “trying to scramble out from beneath me will do nothing to help you,” I say snarling, tightening my legs around the man who ruined my own trust. 

By now he’s on his back staring horrified at me. Just about as horrified as I was when I found his secret box full of his secret life. His secret letters. Secret meetings. Secret rooms. And worst of all: his secret lovers. Now that his oh so perfect chest is facing me, I start slicing it up. First the letters: RR and then III, as I am the third. I don’t know why I still go with the III. I dropped the George forever ago. Reminded me too much of my deadbeat dad. He meant nothing to me. Just how Brendon means nothing to me now. I ruin the second thing I fell in love with about B. His perfect body. I cut it at random now. Faster and Faster. I let out a blood curtling screech. Let the word hear my pain and my anger and my regret. Let them hear everything that’s wrong with my life.

His perfect body is ruined now. I did that. Nice job me. You did it. One more thing left to ruin. Bren lets out a small breath.

“Ryan Ross…… I always loved you…. No one else ever meant anything….You were my everything….I….I….goodbye my love.” He coughed. Then he dies.

“Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow. You little Fucker. They say all good things have an end. So will it be heartbreak or death? Well I chose for you. I chose death.”

Now for the last part of killing my boyfriend. My best friend. The man who meant everything to me. The man who broke all my trust with him. The man I loved who cheated on me. I have to destroy the first thing I ever loved about him… His eyes. They must go. I use the knife and angrily trace is across your face. Just leaving small traces of where the knife was just seconds before. I dig the tip of the knife into your skin right next to the right eye. The knife slips into his eye socket and the eye pops out. My hand fumbles to catch it. Its slimy in my hand. Disgusting. I place it among the food on the table. My hand hits the carton of milk on it’s way back to catch the other eyeball. It spills all over Bren’s face. Serves him right. You used to say “maybe we can last beyond all time.” Yeah right you sick little fuck. Not if you’re going behind my back. The second eye comes out and I place it right next to the first to be cleaned up later. I wipe my prints off of the knife, and head downstairs to call the police. I need to tell them someone came up and disturbed our reunion sex. The someone realized we were two men and attacked. I was able to run away, I was able to hide and reach out apartment. But Brendon, well he wasn’t so lucky and the intruder got him. He killed my Brendon. On the phone I was sobbing, I could barely hold myself together. The phone call lasted about three minutes, I tell them I want to wash up after this frightful event and I’m getting into the shower. As soon as I got off the phone I was hit with a fit of giggles. I’m finally free from that cheating liar. You little fuck. 

Still naked, and still hard, I climb into the shower to wash away the blood, and my laughing tears. I jerk off to the thought of me killing B. Of him being gone. Of his cheating, lying, beautiful ass finally gone. The past two weeks I was pouring over what to do about his cheating on me. I figured it was either heartbreak or death. I didn’t want heartbreak, for me or him, and I certainly didn’t want to die. I have more to live for. I have other men I can go to. So I decided the only option was to kill him and blame it on an intruder. Finally feeling clean, I slither out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. The box is on the dining table. The box filled with all his secrets. The box he thought I would never find. The box that when I found it I prayed and prayed that it was a dream, only to wake up the next morning with it still sitting exactly where I left it. Fuck. Why would he do that to me. And with girls? Sans clothes girls in polaroids dated back just six months ago. We were together six months ago. We have been together four years. 

There were notes too. “Meet me in my room ( 217 ) at 6pm - Ashley 03/17/13” that was dated only about a month before I found the box. It was one of many. The box that killed Brendon. My Brendon. 

Oh no what have I done. I killed him. I kissed him, I made him hard and then I killed him. My Brendon is gone. I will never see him roll his perfect eyes at me, I will never kiss his perfect lips again. I will never laugh at an inappropriate joke with him again. He’s gone. And it’s my fault. I fucked up. I’m the little fucker. Why didn’t I just talk it through with him. I could have. Maybe heartbreak would have been better than death. Maybe not. Maybe I can fix this. Maybe we can be together again. In heaven. Or hell. We both fucked up. We are floor 8. I could jump. Yes I think I will do that. Afterall, now that B is dead, I have nothing left to live for. I slowly make my way over to the window. Police are running past my door. One stops are knocks. It’s too late. I’m on the window cill. I lean forward and fling myself off of the eighth floor moving my head facing the ground as if I was diving into the pool.

I’m doing this for you Brendon, my love.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N the song this is based off of is: "Heartbreak or Death" by the Brobecks. I think it fits the song pretty well. I hope you enjoyed and I'm going to try and write some more fanfics, not sure what about or how long but I will try. Thanks for reading!


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